NOT a seven day rester

To follow up that last post:
I'm guilty of being a 7 day rester at times.
I know I am.
But I don't want to be.
Kyle Gene Burke has potential.
Wait wait wait...who told me that?
Was it my mom?
My dad?
My best friend?
Yeah, it was.
But who among those could make me believe it?
None.
I am the master of my own affairs.
And yes, my parents have encouraged me and have told me that I can do whatever I set my mind to, all of the stuff that good parents invariably say (and they mean it to, I'm not trying to down play it.)
And for a long time my best friend, she's told me I can be better than I am.
But even her words didn't spur me on, and I love her more than any other person.
And look. I'm not a failure. I'm doing alright. But there comes a point when a person has to decide if they are fine with doing "alright" or if something greater is their goal.
And mine is my best.
And you can't be your best as a seven day rester.
And I can't do this for any one else. I can't be great to make my parents proud.
And I can't live up to my potential to make Madeline happy.
Believe me. I've tried these things and they fail every time.
My heart has never really been in it.
I've always had an outside motive.
Someone else has always been my concern.
If you truly want to be YOUR best you have to do it for YOU.
The rest will fall in place. I believe that in this moment, even if I have yet to FULLY embrace it.
If I can hold on to that mindset, I know I'll be great.
Why have I never, ever been able to grasp that?
It doesn't matter why.
I just have to do this. For me.
Because if I build my foundation on another person, even the person I love the most, I'll be let down at some point and I'll stumble. But if I am my own foundation, I'll always have a reason. I mean....I hope that doesn't sound selfish or anything? That isn't the sentiment at all. I'm just saying I know what I have to do.