Musings.

The soundtrack to this blog post is shitty pop music. Except it isn't so shitty. I don't know if I am degenerating or if radio music is suddenly becoming better written, but I find myself rather impressed with what is hitting the mainstream scene as of late. The television has been on all afternoon and evening on the same top 40 music station. And honestly, it's not bad. That's not normal for me. It's usually boring and monotonous and lacking substance to me. It probably still is, but for some reason my brain isn't rejecting that. This disturbs me. It goes beyond music I think. I think my mind is accepting things as they are without questioning it. That isn't me. And I don't want it to become who I am. I want to jump, move around, and shake things up. I feel so stagnant. You know, a good friend of mine suggested that she and I up and move out west. Take a train to Seattle with a couple hundred bucks in our pockets and set up a new life. This appeals. Not simply because I am sick of this mid-west conservatism that surrounds me, but because...well I'm ready to be a part of something new and something I can call my own. A place and a life that is not built around someone else. I don't want to have mom and dad to fall back on, or to be known as so and so's brother. Or so and so's friend. Or so and so's boyfriend. I want to make an identity for this boy that belongs solely to me. I'm not saying I want to forsake all those in my life that I love and love me. I am not saying that in the slightest. I just feel a need to be something more. And I don't think that is here.

I'm so restless...said the boy as the catchy, catchy Taylor Swift song played on in the background...