I'm making a mix for myself. Songs from my itunes that speak to me or for me. Songs that reflect where I am in life, what's on my mind, where I am right now.
I'm wearing headphones and I am just browsing through, clicking and listening to songs I think will work for this compilation. I just listened to the song "On Your Porch" by The Format.
I was smoking a cigarette and singing along to the first couple of lines when the song started to hit me, so I put my cigarette out and I stopped singing and I just--listened. Before the first verse was over I was sobbing. I'm glad I'm home alone right now, because it wasn't pretty. It was beautiful, but not pretty in the slightest. That song was always my favorite from that album. It always struck me as a wonderfully crafted song with a beautiful story. It had even inspired tears before, but always the kind that are no big deal. You wipe away a tear at the end of a song, and you marvel a little bit. But this time the song just hit me like a ton of bricks. What Nate Ruess was singing became personal and it was as if he was singing my life of the last few years and it broke me down. I'm not even I'm sure I understand all the ways it shook me because it made me feel emotions I haven't felt in a long time. Both good and bad. It was a sort of self renewal that I really needed.
And that's all.
3 comments:
This was kind of simple and beautiful. I really liked this. Sometimes we all need that.
And here's the thing:
You're a grown up. You make your own decisions. But I've been wanting to tell you this, and there's no better place than your blog.
You need to stop smoking. If you ever want to get in shape physically, it's going to be hell when you get your lungs all shitty.
You need to stop smokkkkking. It may have some physical and emotional benefits. But it also makes you lazy. I've never met a pothead that wasn't lazy. Ever. And all the the problems you had last semester came down to laziness. You heard this from Kelsie and you didn't like it, but you hear things better from me, so I'm telling you: you can blame last semester only on yourself. And you have all the promise to make next semester badass and fantastic--but you can't be lazy. And pot does that to you.
That is all.
also. the header was well-timed and lovely.
I like this very much. I also see that you've taken a break from Potter to read The Chosen.
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