Shit fuck goddam I feel like I have an army of butterflies and fiften pounds of lead in my stomach and it is COMPLETELY irrational.

My heart is beating up out of my chest.
I can't catch my breath.
I'm starting to wonder if there is any sanity left.
Is this a test? What about the rest?
Some kind of mess and I'm terribly...
Infatuated? Obsessed?

I'm so nervous but I'm so fucking ready.
I'm so ready but I'm so fucking nervous.
How do I do this?
What's below the surface?
How do I do this? How do I do this?