To work for them and not for myself.

430PM170213-February 17th, 2013


A friend of mine was talking to me today about taking a trip out to one of the coasts this summer. All we would have to do is save up $12 a week in gas. And a year ago, a month ago, hell, last week possibly--that would have sounded like the best idea I have ever heard. But looking at it a bit more realistically we have $12 a week from now until the summer that's going back for gas. Not to mention extra money for any toll roads we have to take, food, and a reserve for any spontaneous or unexpected expenses such as a flat tire or car problems. So $12 a week turns into a lot more, and for something that isn't of utmost importance. Here's my counter plan. Go to work, get paid, save money, repeat. I just want to do that for a while. It's so easy to just throw money at the first enjoyable thing that comes along, but it's more rewarding if you save and pay off the things that you owe on--a car, a phone payment, student loans, etc. and then when you do finally spend some money on a trip or a new surround sound system or whatever it may be it feels doubly earned and self-satisfaction simply goes through the roof, in a good way.

Lately I have been living at home with my mom and sisters. Doing chores, trying to make myself of use. I just wanted a break from school. I needed some time missing it to realize it is something I had grown to rely on. And I've certainly learned that. Not going to school and not having a full time job (or even much part time for that matter) doesn't offer much by way of fulfillment. I stay up late, spend time with my friends and walk wherever I need to go, because right now I have no car. I'm ready to work though, and this week is a week of applications and putting myself out there and really striving for progress. Needing a vehicle is a big motivator. I have lots of things I want and like to do that a car would simply make so much easier. Especially in the winter time when walking to and fro, place to place gets a bit frigid.

It seems these days everyone my age is either in school or pregnant or has a kid or kids or is married or getting married. Me? I am on World 7 on Super Mario Brothers 3. It's legitimately a goal of mine to beat that game. I'm farther than I've ever gotten before. I just feel like I have to beat it. Like, if I finish that game somehow then I will know I am capable of sticking through something to it's end or completion. Like maybe once I defeat Bowser then I will suddenly have the confidence I was lacking in school. Or you know, once I conquer this game then I will believe I can get a job and that it's worth all the effort. I know that sounds silly on some level, but on another it makes perfect sense. Life is a game of sorts. But there isn't any way to beat it, you just have to keep playing until time runs out. And right or wrong, all the decisions you make are just that, decisions. Should you take the tunnel or fly to your destination? Which route offers more money? Quicker results? A couple decisions that I think will help me in this game of life are getting out and exercising as well as writing more, and staying more active and informed within my social circles. I've got some habits I would like to shake and a few I want to incorporate. I think with the help of you, friends, this will be a season of growth and new found responsibility.


On Music...
I'm listening to Of Montreal lately. My favorite albums lately are "The Gay Parade" and "False Priest". Very eclectic, experimental  music. From show tune stylization to R&B to electro beats to psychedelic rock--I really suggest anyone who appreciates a wide variety of music to check Kevin Barnes and his boys out. Of Montreal. Another band to check out is called The National. Their album "High Violet" is simply golden in every way. Everything is so deliberate and honest.

On Books...
I haven't been reading all that much lately. I'm a ways into a novel called "The Children's Book" and I really like it so far. Marthann loaned me an audio book about a military dog and his owners that I need to make some time to listen to, as well. Ashen Winter, I still need to finish. And I have Holden's copy of "John Dies at the End" to get to. So I've got a bit to read, it's just making myself do it. Which I don't often mostly due to--

On the Doctor...
Doctor Who. The Doctor filled a hole in my life that Harry Potter left. There is a whole world (millions of them actually...) to get lost in. Characters that interact with the Doctor and have stories of their own until it's not really just a tv show any more, but almost a way of looking at the world. The show isn't senselessly violent and it isn't sexually explicit nor does it use vulgar language. I hate to say it is a "good, clean" show, but it really is. It doesn't push limits of social acceptance just to do so and it doesn't try to cause an up roar. It's grounded in science, but it's also extremely based in the fantastic. I watched all six seasons that are on Netflix in the past few months. I'm re-watching them with Holden right now, and we have made it to season three. Craig Ferguson had a musical number on his show all about the Doctor and how the show was about the triumph of intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism. And it is. You'd be surprised at how uplifting that is.

On immediate plans...
I'll be at the Marshall Public Library tomorrow. I'm not sure when, but I'll be there. You should go to the library sometime, if you haven't been in a a while. And if you have...libraries are great, aren't they?

11 2Knight